Pigs officially flew the other day when I heard from a ghost of the past. A ghost that always lingered in the back of my mind somewhere, reminding me of what love feels like; what pain feels like. A ghost that was hidden from my view, though never too far from my mind. Then, the ghost reappeared.
I felt like this would happen someday. Someday- some far day. But it was the other day. I felt confused- I had been thinking a lot more about said ghost in the last week or so, and deleted the phone number so Id never be able to reach out.
So, I decided I wasnt angry, and at least wanted to hear things out. Ghost wanted to be friends. I thought maybe it was possible but wanted to feel out how we talked first.
So this now tangible ghost told me about life; new girlfriend, new job, new stuff. I already knew about the girlfriend; I just kept my mouth shut and pretended I didnt know. I tried to have a decent conversation.
But after our conversation ended...I realized that though this year has been AWFUL, and Ive done a lot of things I regret due to what happened with said "ghost", I do not want to revert. Too much has happened. Ive finally learned to stand on my own.
That ghost will always float around in the background. As I watch their love be stronger, better than ours; I get renewed hope that maybe, just maybe, I can find it too. I always thought nothing was stronger than us; but apparently, it can be.
So, thank you for coming out of the shadows; so I can know Ive been forgiven. You did like me as a friend. that was all real. Thank you for showing me that I dont need you as much as I thought I did. Thank you for the years; the tears; you've made me who I am now. And one day Ill get things right in my life.
Until then....goodbye Ghost.