I wanted to draw....but I could not think of literally anything I could draw that could properly express what I'm thinking and feeling.
Then, I opened my mouth, and no words other than "What the f*ck?" and "Oh my god" came out.
So writing is probably a crap-shoot too. I dont want to describe all of what is going on right now because of the people that could potentially see it. Lets just say this week has been FUCT. I just found something out that I REALLY couldve lived without knowing. And it was already a bad week before I even found out.
I feel like I got kicked in the stomach repeatedly. I feel like throwing up, Im replaying the last 5-6 years of my life over, knowing people say "Be glad people were there/it was a lesson/whatever" But seriously, after what has transpired in this year, there is a person I would HONESTLY choose to NEVER meet. EVER. because Im so much more broken, less trusting, irreversibly screwed up over this sh*t. I think back on how I actually believed....Believed. What? I believed? What was I even doing??
Oh. my. god.